Have you considered how you and/or your partner show love for one another? Sometimes, we think there is only one way to show love, the romantic kind we see in the movies where everyone ‘falls’ in love and lives happily ever after. But in real life we show love in many ways, and we all have our preferences. Here are a few of those ways, I’m sure there are more, but let’s look at these five:
Physical touch: I’m not necessarily referring to sex here. I’m talking abut any physical touch like holding hands, placing your hand on a partners leg, the unconscious touches that are shared between people. For those who have physical touch as their preference, having a partner who doesn’t do this will feel painful, like a rejection. physical touch will feel like a security, belonging.
Affirmations: Those who have this preference will need to hear words of affirmation about how their partner feels about them. They’ll feel great when told they’re loved, why they’re loved, when they’re encouraged. If not hearing these sorts of things, they might feel completely unloved.
Acts of service: When the type of person hears “let me do that for you” their hearts will soar! Anything that will ease the burden will be considered the highest show of love. Being lazy or breaking commitments will be heart-breaking for this type.
Quality time: Full, undivided attention, listening intently and being thoughtful are the keys to showing love to this type. Distractions like phones can be a killer for this type. Having quality attention and activities on the other hand, will be fabulous. This type might need a great date night.
Gifts: Some people need to be shown love through gifts- not because they’re materialistic, but because it shows them they’ve been in your thoughts. Small trinkets that are thoughtfully chosen will go a long way for this type of person. For them it really is the thought that counts. Last minute, obviously hastily chosen gifts and forgotten birthdays or anniversaries will be a relationship killer for this type.
The question now is, how do you show your love and is it what your partner thinks of as love? If you don’t know what love language your partner speaks there’s a very easy way to find out – ask! Have the discussion. But be ready to shift your shows of affection to incorporate some of what they need. Making the effort will make all the difference!