This is part 32 of my series on Lojong; a Buddhist mind training technique
There are times that we hang on to grudges or plot our revenge when we feel we’ve been wronged in some way. At times it is so all consuming to last our entire lifetimes. We stew over our hurt feelings and lie in wait for the exact moment that we can attack and feel like we are the powerful ones. You can easily see is this Seinfeld clip how unhealthy this sort of thinking can be. George Costanza takes it a little further than your average person, but the end result is the same. Our egos have taken over, we hang on very tightly to thoughts that do us nothing but harm and we have lost the compassion and loving kindness that we aim to hold in our minds through practice of the Lojong slogans.
When feeling insulted or wronged by another, are you able to forgive? Are you able to notice any physical or emotional sensations that accompany the insult? Are you able to let it go? Practice forgiveness by understanding that the person who has delivered the insult has done the best they can on their path. Know that you do not have to be affected by another regardless of their intentions. Your inner self can remain at peace as you deal with any outward conflict. Done with a mind of creating more kindness in the world, it can become another learning opportunity for both parties, either through dealing with the situation or by witnessing another dealing with it in a positive way.