“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
~ Ernest Hemingway
I’ve had a rough week. I spent much of Wednesday walking around like a zombie, as if someone sucked the life right out of me. Shocked. I spent much of my morning yesterday in tears; the shock had worn off.
Why the drama? Someone that I trusted and believed in broke that trust. And while I probably should not have been so shocked by the breach of trust, I was quite surprised by my own reaction to it. I’ve pondered this for the last couple of days and I believe it’s really about expectations. I expected that when I treated this person with respect and trust that he would reciprocate. The fact is that I have no right to expect this of another person. The only person in my life that I have any control over is me. I cannot expect others to live up to some standard that I have. Sometimes people behave in ways that they have learned because they simply do not know any other way.
As part of my meditation today I will practice compassion and I will remember that everything that happens in life presents an opportunity for growth and learning. I will be grateful for my lesson in this situation and know that when I temper my own expectations I will not be disappointed. I will continue to cultivate equanimity in my own mind, knowing all too well that I, too, am human, and there will be times that I hurt but through my spiritual practice perhaps I hurt a little less and not for quite so long.